Year 2030: For the Love of Obesity, Lucy being Lousy

Lucy (waving):  Hey, ya, what’s up bud!

Silky: All well dude, but what’s wrong with Swati….

Lucy: Why what happened…

Silky: I see her dieting all the time.

Lucy: Yes, Swati is tensed about her weight.

Silky: Ahhh! I have never seen her happy on that.

Lucy: True that! But, she desperately wants to lose some.

Silky: Yeah man, I think human is now scared of only one thing – that is obesity. You know what, I heard Anu reading to Ashutosh that a man spends his 80% time thinking about sex. But (Giggles)… I defy that. I think, in fact I am sure that Ashutosh spends 100% of his time thinking about fitting into that cargo pant which he bought a year ago.

Lucy: What’s wrong with these humans? They should be healthy and happy. After all, they are the most privileged of all.  Isn’t it?

Silky: Yeah, remember our sympathiser’s words, “Man is the only creature that consumes without producing…………… Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum…………..and the rest he keeps for himself.”

Lucy: Oh, yes! But, then we can’t change much about that. All we can do is to produce, and produce something which when our lords consume would help keep themselves healthy and happy. After all they are our lords….

Silky: Cool, ya! Let’s do a con-call tonight and discuss this obesity, which is the mother of all problems, hah!

(Meanwhile at Lucy’s place- Swati is upset about her obesity and refuses to eat anything. Shashwat (her husband) is trying to console her, but all in vain……….)

(And, at Silky’s place- Anu is having a plate full of rice with egg curry while Ashutosh is munching on some salads with boiled eggs sans the yolks…. He also advises Anu to eat less as she will gain weight otherwise……an eerie silence prevails at their place thereafter)

Their lords are now out for a brisk night walk. Silky and Lucy are in their respective homes…Silky dials Lucy……

Silky asks- Dude, have you heard of Pakistan?

Lucy (Giggles)- Yes! That’s where humans eat humans.

Silky- I think Anu and Ashutosh have become like India-Pakistan…they usually don’t talk but when they do, Ashutosh’s exponentially growing belly and Anu’s weight become their Kashmir issues……Lucy, I am really tired of it, I think this obesity needs some permanent cure….

Anyways, let’s see what others say tonight in our con-call. By the way, have you informed others?

Lucy- Yes, but it’s difficult for them to join, as they live away from their lords’ house in separate sheds.

Silky- Okay then I will call you once my lords go to their room. We will discuss and inform Milky, Eggy and Fleshy…

(At 12 midnight)

The phone rings…Lucy picks and talks in lowest possible decibel

Lucy- Hey, so, what was there in dinner tonight…

Silky- Don’t ask me some rubbish pedigree they have recently bought and it tastes like shit. What about you?

Lucy- They gave me some stale chicken pieces…well, I relished them anyways. Hey, I was thinking- Milky gives the best quality milk and her lord sells it to our lords and consumes too. Milky was also saying that her lord has been asked by his doc to cut down all milk products but still he continues to…..

Silky- Yes, so?

Lucy- What about asking Milky to eat less? That ways she wouldn’t produce much milk and in turn, her lord and our lords too will get to consume less of it.

Silky- Good idea! Our lords would be happy reducing their weight that ways. But, what about the eggs that they consume daily?

Lucy- Eggy will be asked to hatch her eggs as fast as she can so that her lords would be unable to take them for his poultry. I have also heard that her lord takes eggs as his staple diet and he is on the verge of bursting too….hehehehe!

Silky- And what about Fleshy…that bloody rabbit- she is eating day in and out thinking that she is loved and cared for…but I know how her lord is eyeing to have her in sooner future.

Lucy- That’s our fortune darling. Nevertheless, I will ask her to eat less so that her lord doesn’t get to store much fat, when he eats her. Let’s be as useful to our lords as much as we can….after all, they are our lords… (Laughter echoes from both sides of the telephones)….

Silky- Yes, yes, certainly dear! Tomorrow morning only we will inform all of them. Let’s just do our bit at least.

(Next day around 3 PM in Milky’s shed)

Milky, Fleshy, Eggy, Silky and Lucy assemble. They all discuss and reach a consensus of spreading the word to their fellow herds as well, so that obesity amongst humans can be wiped off as immediately and effectively as possible.

(6 months pass…… newspaper headline reads……)

 “Chickens- But No Eggs…..”

 “Severe Dearth of Milk, Eggs and Flesh”;

“Vegan-the only Preference for Vegetarians”

(Another 6 months pass…… newspaper headline reads……)

“Animals Dying Fast”

“Humans- the only Creature on Earth”

“Animals call it a Boycott of Life”

(Another 6 months pass….. newspaper headline reads……)

“The Era of Great Depression”

“Greatest Ever Ecological Dis-balance”

“Food Chain Disappears”

Another 6 months pass……no newspapers…plants are dead and so are humans……

 

 

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